About Kathryn & The Parent Within
The Parent Within is the evolution of 40+ years of Kathryn Tonges' teaching parenting courses and teaching early childhood to tertiary level.
Welcome to The Parent Within!
The Parent Within concept is the evolution of over 40 years of teaching parenting courses and teaching from early childhood to tertiary level. My passion is helping parents reconnect with the loving, compassionate, nurturing, joyful parent within them so that they can have the family relationships they desire. This website provides practical support in your parenting journey and helps you discover your ‘parent within‘.
What is ‘The Parent Within‘?
The Parent Within refers to your inner truth: the loving, compassionate, nurturing, joyful parent within you who is non-threatened and non-threatening. It is your open heart.
It is not that defensive, critical parent role that is born out of absorbed conditioning and fears from your own childhood wounds.
My passion is to help you rediscover The Parent Within you so that you can best support your child’s unique growth and development and have a warm, close, loving relationship. Ultimately I am an advocate for change in parenting so that your children do not have to overcome childhood wounds; and so that children and families can thrive.
Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) provides a time-tested and researched method to allow you to be The Parent Within, the parent you know you want to be. Under stress, like most parents, you have probably said the very things you swore you would never say to your child simply because you didn’t know an alternative. P.E.T. offers a set of effective communication skills you can plug into, to build close loving family relationships.
Why P.E.T.?
Have you ever had an experience that has had unexpected and far-reaching consequences that go far beyond what you could ever have imagined in your life? That weaves through every aspect of your life?
For me, it was stumbling across the Parent Effectiveness Training book at the end of my first year of teaching over 40 years ago. I am filled with gratitude that the effective communication skills I learnt with P.E.T. have underpinned all the interactions with children and people in my life since then.
I have continued to be open-minded and study other parenting models and research. My conclusion is that P.E.T. is a stand-out. It is a time-tested model of effective democratic relationships!
The current brain research validates the claims and the effectiveness of using the non-punitive, compassionate, respectful parenting model that award-winning psychologist and three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, Dr Thomas Gordon, designed over 50 years ago.
What I Believe
I believe that it is possible for your family to be a haven of peace, love, compassion and joy.
I believe that it is possible for you to feel and express peace, love, compassion and joy.
I believe that children are a blessing. They mirror your inner being, the truth of who you are. On the one hand, they mirror your wonderful completeness. On the other hand, they mirror what needs to be healed.
Your children open your emotional childhood wounds and inherited baggage – your unmet needs that you may not even realise that you hunger to satisfy because you buried those memories so deep and hid them behind defensiveness, control or passivity. When your hot buttons are pressed you project your lack (your insecurities, your feelings of being out of control because you don’t know what to do) onto your children.
Our children are our teachers and healers. What wonderful gifts they give you! You can choose to learn from them and uncover The Parent Within.
Change starts with you. You can replenish your lack by both nurturing your wounded inner child and re-educating unhelpful, antiquated parent scripts that hinder The Parent Within you from transforming your family.
When you change you, you change your family.
When you change your family, you change the world!
Awaken The Parent Within and your children and family will thrive.
A little more about me
I am married with two married sons. My husband and I are doting grandparents of three adorable grandchildren.
Fifteen years ago I had the good fortune to live in China where I conducted P.E.T. courses for expatriates in Beijing and Xiamen and trained expatriate instructors. I wrote for Beijing Kids and Jing magazines and was on the editorial board for Beijing Kids. I also wrote blogs for my son’s business Teach Starter.
Whilst in Beijing I co-authored a book titled, “Slurping Soup and Other Confusions: True Stories and Activities to Help Third Culture Kids during Transition“. This unique book contains twenty-three real-life stories of children between three and twelve, followed by fun and helpful activities.
Since returning to Australia I have been acknowledged as a Master Trainer and appointed as a National Instructor Trainer for the Effectiveness Training Institute of Australia Ltd (ETIA Ltd) and President of ETIA Ltd.
I love to teach and share what I know about parenting. As a certified credentialed coach I help parents to move forward and become the parent they want to be. I love to see the changes parents make when they have the support to do so. It warms my heart to know that children are the beneficiaries. I also love to share my knowledge of Effectiveness Training skills with teachers via the Teacher Effectiveness Training course.
Qualifications
- Bachelor of Educational Studies degree from the University of Queensland and a Diploma in Teaching (Primary and Preschool).
- Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coach Academy and conferred by the International Coach Federation.
- Authorised Parent Effectiveness Training Instructor from Gordon Training Institute (March 1978).
- Authorised Teacher Effectiveness Training Instructor
- Authorised Be Your Best Instructor