I Hate Him!
Your child sobs, "I hate him!" How do you respond?: A. Don't speak to your brother like that! B. We don't use that word in this family! C. What's happened now? (exasperated sigh) D. You're so upset and angry with
Latest
Unsure: No More
Uncertainty is part of life. It can leave you anxious or you can choose to proactively move forward towards growth and change. Perhaps you made a New Year's resolution that you have already become unsure about how to commit to? I would like to help you with one
Upcoming P.E.T. Course
Happy New Year parents! 2025 brings new opportunities, a chance to refresh and align with the parent within. The parent deep within that you know you are: the loving, warm, connected, positive parent with mutually satisfying and respectful relationships. New Website & Newsletter With 2025 I have a new website
Susannah Scales - parent of 4
“This course has changed my whole parenting paradigm. I used to run my household of 4 kids with authority and a raised voice. Kathryn has shown me that in fact a different path exists. If you choose this path, peace predominates, all family members try to ensure the other members
Michelle Williams - MXM Couture (testimonials from P.E.T. and a Be Your Best course)
"The most amazing things in the world are just starting to happen in my family, thanks to P.E.T. My 4 year old, without asking gets up from the breakfast table, washes his hands, gets dressed, cleans his room ! Seeing the change in him and how active listening
Connected and Harmonious Relationships in Challenging Times
Inclusiveness, respect and a sense of belonging for everyone regardless of cultural or linguistic background are values that underpin Harmony Week (14 to 21 March). These values are the very essence of all harmonious relationships. Effectiveness Training Institute of Australia’s mission is to provide individuals with effective communication and
Whinging, Whining and Wailing: 10 reasons children do it and what you can do to help
You have had enough. The repetitive whinging, whining or wailing accompanied by sounds of grumbling, griping or groaning have tipped your tipping point far too many times. You have implored, beseeched, exploded, threatened and bribed and yet your child’s pattern of communication resurfaces again and again. It’s irritating,
Richard Robinson - entrepeneur
"P.E.T. rocks and so does Kathryn! I have two boys aged 8 and 10 here in Beijing. Their mom is Chinese and I am American, from Boston. I’ve been in China for 18 years so the boys were born and raised here. I’ve found, unsurprisingly,
"Quiet Please!" A Parent's Guide to Peacefully Creating Calm
Parents yearn for the peaceful sound of silence. The soothing balm of quiet solitude. An inner calm. Family life is so often a cacophony of sounds, activity and busy-ness that floods and overloads the senses of each family member. Parents giving commands, children resisting, the incessant background noise of television
Me No Brush Teeth! - 2 year old resistance
“Have I told you lately how much I like P.E.T.?” So began a text message from my daughter-in-law Alison. I was curious. The message was about how Alison had successfully used Parent Effectiveness Training’s Method III, no-lose problem solving, to deal with a conflict with her two
Win-Win Conflict Resolution: Thea age 7 & her mother each get their needs met.
Following is a true story told by a mother who has newly learnt Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) skills. Camilla, the mother of Thea, 7 years old, decides to introduce and apply the no-lose method of conflict resolution with her daughter for the first time. P.E.T. teaches
Morning Rush Hour: a true story of a mother choosing to listen and the amazing outcome.
The following heart warming story was written by Cindy, a mother who was attending a Parent Effectiveness Training course that I was conducting. She had just been learning about the importance of actively listening to children when they have a problem to assist them identifying their need. She was also
Blog
Help! My spouse has a different parenting style.
“What should I do? Won’t my children be affected? My spouse thinks that parenting comes naturally”. Voiced in every parenting course that I teach, these are understandable concerns. For some parents the changes feel like a threat or a criticism of their parenting style or even of the way
Blog
Webinar hosted by Australian Teacher Aide & presented by The Parent Within: 'Make Every Day a Good Day'
My first webinar! Children can easily get frustrated when they have problems. Learn skills to help de-escalate emotions and move children from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Blog
Nurturing & Deepening Your Relationship When You Are A New (or old) Parent
Nurturing your baby is all encompassing. So you may be wondering: how can it be possible to nurture your relationship with your partner let alone deepen it? We are each behaving to get our needs met and your baby is very needy – dependent in fact. You would be excused therefore
Blog
My Emotional Trainer Wheels!
Thoughts from your 2 or 3 year old (or any aged child) on losing it: “Remember when I was a very little baby and my arms flailed out in a shaky startled response. You knew what to do! You held me close and comforted me. This was you helping me
Blog
Making Peace With Your New Year's Parenting Resolutions
It takes bravery to make a New Year’s resolution. It takes compassion mixed with courage to commit to it. With so many family-life pressures it can be easy to revert to ineffective parenting methods and get side tracked from your goal of being the parent you want to be.
Blog
5 Steps to Family Peace-Building this Festive Season
Is it possible for a family to have no conflict, disagreements, fights, or squabbles during the festive season? I hate to disappoint, but given different emotional states, personalities, ages, values and expectations, conflict is inevitable. 5 steps to Family Peace-Building this Festive Season will help you prepare for dealing with
Blog
Changing Judgment and Reactivity
Have you ever felt so frustrated with your children you could scream? Recently a dad and I were discussing children’s ability to emotionally self-regulate. He said he agreed that young children are still learning about their emotions. He then added, “What about me? I go from neutral to anger
Testimonials
Yanhong Wheeler - acclaimed parenting author in China
Thank you for changing my life, and in turn, changing the lives of millions of Chinese families! (Never underestimate the power of a single yet determined human mind :-)) Kathryn is your dream instructor. I felt so comfortable with her, which helped opening up my heart and mind to receive
Testimonials
Ginny Malbon - lifestyle photographer
When I first started PET with Kathryn, I was struggling with my 2 little kids - a girl aged 3 and a boy aged 1.5. There was lots of shouting by all family members in the house and it was achieving nothing. I was desperate to try something new
Testimonials
Catherine Banson - P.E.T. Instructor & parenting blogger in Hong Kong
"Kathryn Tonges has been a beacon through the past year, the biggest growth period of my life. Kathryn as P.E.T. Instructor and Master Trainer: I have three children - 16, 13 and 10. In the fall of 2011, things got really desperate with my very autonomous middle
Testimonials
Endorsements from Beijing expatriate parents who completed the Parent Effectiveness Training Course
“I thoroughly enjoyed the P.E.T. course. The model emphasizes peaceful methods of parenting, and who wouldn't like that! Everyone in the family has needs, and everyone's needs are equally important, and P.E.T. teaches how to listen to each other and problem-solve difficulties
Parenting
The Powerful Benefits of Storytelling
There is an old saying, “Richer than I you’ll never be, for I had a parent who read to me”. The benefits of reading can never be doubted however I would like to rewrite this saying and state, “Richer than I you’ll never be, for I had a